Miracle cures
ISSUE NO. 18 // MIRACULOUS CURE-ALLS
To jump start the new year, I’m sharing a collection of medical advice. Consult your doctor or your own common sense before implementing any of these cures.
Thank you for being here. Here’s to a healthy and happy 2023!
Presidential Doodler
Asthma
Theodore Roosevelt’s doctor prescribed coffee and cigars to treat his asthma when he was a child. Roosevelt also decided to double-down on weight training and exercise to grow stronger.
_______________
Cancer
Ulysses S. Grant was treated with cocaine. The bottle is on display at Grant Cottage.
_______________
Depression
Between the pressures of being POTUS and being a father, John Quincy Adams suffered from depression. His doctor advised him to "doff the world aside and bid it pass; to cast off as much as possible all cares public and private and vegetate myself into a healthier condition.”
_______________
“Fatigue, overstrain, and nervous illness”
Harding checked himself into J.H. Kellogg, MD’s Battle Creek Sanitarium a handful of times. What he thought was fatigue (etc.) may have been an undiagnosed heart condition. The “stool samples, vegetarian concoctions, electric baths, and laughing as therapy” didn’t help his condition.
Side note: after his best friend was struck by tragedy (his 2-year-old died), Harding checked him into Battle Creek Sanitarium. Then began a 15-year affair with his friend’s wife, Carrie Phillips.
_______________
Heart disease
It wasn’t until 1934 that American cardiologists organized for the first time. Cardiology was just a baby profession when FDR was diagnosed with acute congestive heart failure a decade later. His doctor only wanted FDR to work four hours a day. Leader of the free world… during a global war? Part-time gig? Probably not.
_______________
Magical cure-all: bloodletting
At one point, it was believed that bloodletting could cure basically anything. Including bleeding. Not even kidding. (Listen to this Sawbones episode if you want to know more.)
When John Quincy Adams accidentally exploded a gun in his face whilst demonstrating how to be manly to his sons, leeches were used to suck out the extra blood and mend his injuries.
Zachary Taylor was the last president to endure it.
A half century before, 40% of George Washington’s blood was removed in an effort to save his life. Shockingly, it didn’t kill him. Not immediately, anyhow. (I shared step-by-step instructions on how to resurrect a dead president in a previous post, if you need a refresher.)
Side note: after he was shot, Ronald Reagan lost more than half his blood. The doctors didn’t perform bloodletting. But I think it’s interesting that Washington lost 40% and Reagan lost more than 50%, so I’m letting you know.
_______________
Pneumonia
A probably-not-at-all-qualified random person advised Benjamin Harrison to consume six to ten onions as part of a weird concoction to cure his pneumonia.
_______________
Stroke
Woodrow Wilson’s doctor / best friend prescribed golf and horseback riding. Seems legit.
_______________
Urinary tract blockage
Painful blockage? Clear it out with a whale bone, like founding father Gouverneur Morris! Just jam it right up in there. That should do the trick probably.
Listen to Gouverneur Morris and the Vampire of Bizarre for more cringy information. (This “I’ve got a bone to pick with you” shirt is perfection. Horrible, horrible perfection.)
_______________
Weight loss
To maintain her weight, Lady Bird Johnson watered down her wine and enjoyed just a few kernels of popcorn. Just reading that sentence makes me sad.
President Taft’s weight yo-yoed quite a bit, depending on stress. He lost a bunch of weight when he started working for President Theodore Roosevelt… but gained it when he became president himself. After landing his dream job (Supreme Court justice), he lost it again.
To lose weight, Taft golfed all the damned time… which annoyed the crap out of Roosevelt. Maybe if Taft had a doctor/bestie prescribing golf (like Wilson did), the incessant golfing wouldn’t have gotten under Roosevelt’s skin as much.
_______________
Empty email inbox
The cure for an empty email inbox and/or insufficient presidential trivia knowledge? Sign up for my free monthly email newsletter, The POTUS Notice! It’s kinda like this post, but with extra content and chances to win bonus free stuff.
The doodles and cures in this post were inspired by the following books:
The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, by Edmund Morris
John Quincy Adams: A Public Life, a Private Life, by Paul C. Nagel
Warren G. Harding, by John W. DeanThe Daughters of Yalta: The Churchills, Roosevelts, and Harrimans: A Story of Love and War, by Catherine Grace Katz
The President is Dead! The Extraordinary Stories of Presidential Deaths, Final Days, Burials, and Beyond, by Louis Picone
Dutch: A Memoir of Ronald Reagan, by Edmund Morris
First Women: The Grace and Power of America's Modern First Ladies, by Kate Andersen Brower
William Howard Taft: An Intimate History, by Judith Icke Anderson
Full disclosure: I am a Bookshop.org affiliate and included affiliate links. If I’ve inspired you to read any of these books, I earn a small commission on any purchases from these links. Thanks for supporting my project!
