Meet the Presidents.

NICKNAMED “DEVOURER OF VILLAGES”

RAISED TWO STEPKIDS …
WHICH MADE HIM AN ATTRACTIVE FIRST LEADER
(NO RISK OF MONARCHY!)

INOCULATION PIONEER

MORE

FIRST POTUS TO LIVE IN THE WHITE HOUSE

(BUT IT WASN’T CALLED THAT YET)

MORE

INVENTED THE SWIVEL CHAIR

DIDN’T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE PROVIDED FEEDBACK OR CHANGES ON WHAT HE WROTE

REWROTE THE NEW TESTAMENT, OMITTING THE MIRACLES AND, YOU KNOW, SUPER-NATURAL POWERS AND STUFF

PROBABLY DIDN’T SEE THE IRONY THAT HE WAS ABOVE NEEDING EDITING BUT WAS QUALIFIED TO EDIT THE BIBLE

MORE

MOST DIMINUTIVE PRESIDENT (5’ 4” AND GENERALLY UNDER 100 LBS.)

FIRST LADY DOLLEY KINDA DEFINED THE ROLE

MORE

AT 11, WALKED FIVE MILES TO SCHOOL EACH DAY WITH A GUN OVER HIS SHOULDER

CHALLENGED ALEXANDER HAMILTON TO A DUEL AND ASKED AARON-FREAKING-BURR TO BE HIS SECOND

YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT. MORE ON THAT SOME OTHER TIME.

MORE

LOVED VIGOROUS EXERCISE

ENJOYED SKINNY DIPPING…

…UNTIL HE REALIZED SWIMMING WAS MORE OF A WORKOUT WHEN WEARING WET CLOTHES

MORE

DID SOME TERRIBLE THINGS (TRAIL OF TEARS)

DEVOTED TO HIS WIFE; BLAMED JOHN QUINCY ADAMS’ CAMPAIGN FOR HER DEATH

MORE

FIRST POTUS BORN IN THE U.S.

DUTCH WAS HIS FIRST LANGUAGE

HE HAD A SUPER-FANCY, INNOVATIVE TOILET

MORE

FIRST PRESIDENT TO DIE IN OFFICE

SHORTEST PRESIDENCY

ONLY PRESIDENT TO BE GRANDFATHER TO ANOTHER

MORE

FATHER TO MORE KIDS THAN ANY OTHER POTUS (14)

AS OF 2022, ONE OF HIS GRANDKIDS IS STILL ALIVE

ONLY PRESIDENT BURIED UNDER THE CONFEDERATE FLAG

MORE

DON’T LET THE HAIR FOOL YOU; THIS GUY WAS ALL BUSINESS

I GOT TO VISIT HIS GRAVE UNEXPECTEDLY WHEN I ATTENDED A CONFERENCE ACROSS THE STREET (!!!)

MORE

HIS DAUGHTER MARRIED JEFFERSON DAVIS, FUTURE CONFEDERATE PRESIDENT

SHE DIED BEFORE DAVIS WAS A TRAITOR

MORE

HARD TO FIND MANY REDEEMING QUALITIES

DOUGHFACE

WORKED TO OPEN TRADE WITH JAPAN

MORE

DOUGHFACE

GREAT HAIR

TERRIBLE PRESIDENT

MORE

THE ONLY BACHELOR PRESIDENT

JACKSONIAN DEMOCRAT, DESPITE THE FACT THAT JACKSON DIDN’T LIKE HIM

JACKSON SHIPPED HIM OFF TO RUSSIA AND SAID HE WISHED HE COULD SHIP HIM EVEN FARTHER

MORE

AT 6’ 4”, OUR TALLEST POTUS

IN THE WRESTLING HALL OF FAME

ONLY POTUS WITH A PATENT

MORE

PART OF THE PLAN WHEN LINCOLN WAS ASSASSINATED WAS TO KILL HIM AS WELL

HIS WOULD-BE ASSASSIN WENT TO THE BAR INSTEAD

MORE

HE WAS BORN “HIRAM” — AND HIS INITIALS WERE HUG

WITHIN HALF A YEAR, HE LOST HIS HEALTH AND HIS WEALTH

HIS TOMB IS THE LARGEST IN AMERICA

MORE

BELIEVED WOMEN WERE SUPERIOR TO MEN

WAS NOT ANTI-SLAVERY, BUT HIS WIFE LUCY TURNED HIM AROUND

HE ENDED UP BEING AN ABOLITIONIST

MORE

I LOVE ME SOME JAMES GARFIELD

DIDN’T WANT TO BE PRESIDENT, BUT LOVED WORKING FROM HOME

KILLED BY HIS GERMY DOCTORS AFTER HE WAS SHOT

MORE

SUPER-CORRUPT; THEY MADE HIM VICE PRESIDENT TO KEEP HIM OUT OF TROUBLE

THEN THE PRESIDENT WAS KILLED, SO THAT DIDN’T WORK OUT

THANKS TO YOUNG PENPAL WHO SENT HIM UNSOLICITED ADVICE, HE TURNED THINGS AROUND

MORE

WITHIN THREE YEARS, HE WENT FROM MAYOR OF BUFFALO…

… TO GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK…

… TO PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

MORE

ONLY GRANDSON OF A PRESIDENT TO BECOME PRESIDENT

FIRST PRESIDENT WITH ELECTRICITY IN THE WHITE HOUSE

HIS FATHER’S GRAVE WAS ROBBED; THE STORY IS BONKERS

MORE

ONLY GUY TO SERVE NON-CONSECUTIVE TERMS

BOUGHT HIS WIFE A BABY STROLLER. BUT, LIKE, WHEN SHE WAS A BABY. THAT’S NOT WEIRD AT ALL.

MORE

SERVED UNDER FUTURE PRESIDENT RUTHERFORD B. HAYES IN THE CIVIL WAR

“A TANTALIZING ENIGMA,” ACCORDING TO ONE HISTORIAN

MORE

OUR YOUNGEST PRESIDENT

HAND-PICKED HIS SUCCESSOR

REGRETTED HIS DECISION

MORE

PS WANT THIS STICKER? EMAIL ME FOR DETAILS!

NO INTEREST IN THE PRESIDENCY, BUT HIS AMBITIOUS WIFE PRESSURED HIM

GOLFED A LOT

APPOINTED TO HIS DREAM JOB BY HARDING — SUPREME COURT JUSTICE!

MORE

ONLY PRESIDENT WITH A PhD

COULDN’T READ WELL UNTIL HE WAS 12 YEARS OLD

FIRST PRESIDENT TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY WHILE IN OFFICE

ONE OF ONLY TWO PRESIDENTS WITH TWO FIRST LADIES

USED BLACK GOLF BALLS SO HE COULD CONTINUE IN THE WINTER

MORE

AT AGE 11, HE WAS A PRINTER’S DEVIL

NEWSPAPERMAN

CHECKED HIS BEST FRIEND INTO A SANITARIUM … THEN BEGAN A 15-YEAR LONG AFFAIR WITH HIS WIFE

MORE

THREE PRESIDENTS DIED ON JULY 4, BUT HE’S THE ONLY BORN ON JULY 4

HIT BY A FORD WHILE DISTRACTEDLY CROSSING THE STREET

SWORN IN BY HIS FATHER

MORE

GREW UP POOR, BUT MADE TONS OF MONEY AS A GEOLOGIST

RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING MORE LIVES THAN MAYBE ANYONE ELSE IN HISTORY

TRIED TO WARN EVERYONE ABOUT IMPENDING DOOM, BUT ENDED UP BEING BLAMED FOR THE GREAT DEPRESSION

MORE

LONGEST PRESIDENCY

(ONLY ONE TO WIN FOUR PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS)

MORE

MORE

MORE

MORE

FIRST JOB WAS TEACHING

USED TO HOLD MEETINGS IN THE BATHROOM… WHILE DOING #2

MORE

MORE

MORE

MORE

MORE

MORE

MORE

ONLY PRESIDENT WITH TWINS

USED TO BE PART-OWNER OF A BASEBALL TEAM

MORE

FIRST PRESIDENT FROM OUTSIDE THE CONTIGUOUS U.S.

MORE

MORE

MORE