Food-themed presidential insults and so forth
I gathered a bunch of food-themed POTUS insults and whatnot to adorn cloth napkins and kitchen towels, because how have I not done this already?
With the exception of a filler LBJ quote, these are pulled these straight out of my sketchbooks. To get your own napkin or kitchen towel, visit my little shop. But, shit!! You’ll need an account and to change your account settings. Content Filter Settings need to be changed to Moderate. (I’m learning as I go here… I Included some mild swear words in the pattern, so these are rated PG-13. This is a giant face-palm on my part.)
To learn more about each insult (and so forth), keep scrolling.
PS This is my first time playing around with making patterns. Now I want to make patterns with Theodore Roosevelt-specific insults. (Both insults he lobbed and ones hurled at him. What do you think? Comment below if you’d be interested, or if you have other ideas!)
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“I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
LBJ
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“Beef-witted blunderhead.”
John Quincy Adams, describing basically everyone who disagreed with him.)
From John Quincy Adams: A Public Life, a Private Life, by Paul C. Nagel.
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“as soft as a chocolate éclair”
William McKinkley’s backbone, according to Teddy Roosevelt
President McKinley: Architect of the American Century, by Robert W. Merry
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“A pecurliar people and wished to have their cake and eat it too”
FDR to Stalin, talking about British people
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“Involves too damned much tea and cookie pushing.”
Kathy Harriman, daughter of Averell Harriman, on diplomacy
The Daughters of Yalta: The Churchills, Roosevelts, and Harrimans: A Story of Love and War, by Catherine Grace Katz
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“There’s no pancake so thin that it doesn’t have two sides.”
Frank Jameson on hiring Nixon’s former VP Spiro Agnew. I’m not convinced that there were two sides to Agnew.
Bag Man: The Wild Crimes, Audacious Cover-Up, and Spectacular Downfall of a Brazen Crook in the White House, by Rachel Maddow
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“Our Harry has rattled around in the White House like a peanut in a ballroom…”
Harry Truman's Excellent Adventure: The True Story of a Great American Road Trip, by Matthew Algeo
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“Goodness, that man can’t put enough butter on baked potatoes.”
The Boss (Bess) on Harry Truman. OK, not really an insult. But too delicious not to include here.
Harry Truman's Excellent Adventure: The True Story of a Great American Road Trip, by Matthew Algeo
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“Old 57 Varieties”
Teddy Roosevelt… because he always seemed to share ancestry with whoever he met. “I’m German, too!”
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Teddy Roosevelt started (one-sided?) food fights when angry.
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“Wine makes me awfully fighty.”
Please. Everything made him awfully fighty.
(See also: Theodore Roosevelt: Mustachioed Manchild?)
The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, by Edmund Morris
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Richard the Chicken-Hearted
Humphrey’s nickname for Richard Nixon
The Memoirs of Richard Nixon, by Richard Nixon
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“…Old bag of beef and I am going to Washington with a pitchfork and prod him in his fat ribs.”
“Pitchfork Ben” Tillman on Grover Cleveland. You won’t find this one on my napkin because Tillman was trash. Maybe If I ever design a roll of toilet paper though...
Grover Cleveland: a Study of Character, by Alyn Brodsky
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Garfield “lacks the grit to face fashionable ridicule.”
Rutherford B. Hayes was bummed that Garfield planned to bring alcohol back to the White House.
Rutherford B. Hayes: Warrior & President, by Ari Hoogenboom
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“Damn sugar! Damn coffee, damn colonies!”
Napoleon, ranting after his brother-in-law was killed.
The Last Founding Father: James Monroe and a Nation’s Call, by Harlow Giles Unger
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The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table
As the head of the Food Administration during WWII, Hoover stressed conservation over rationing. (Reducing red tape and the risk of black market. Plus, it was less expensive.)
He hired sons of two former presidents — Dr. Harry Garfield and Robert A. Taft.
Herbert Hoover: A Life, by Glen Jeansonne
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“We will buy bread!”
Calvin Coolidge had zero patience for his mother-in-law-to-be’s suggestion that he and Grace delay their wedding until Grace had a year of work experience or until she learned to bake bread.
Coolidge, by Amity Shlaes
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Want your own towel or cloth napkins?
Find them in my little shop.
(But I messed up. Since these items include swear words, you’ll need an account and to change your Content Filter Settings to Moderate. Which basically means no one will ever see these, but I guess that’s ok. Now I freaking know better. And it didn’t stop me from ordering my own set.)
